As you'll notice from my blog posts, many of the comics and Young Adult books I read have diverse representation of characters, in terms of race, gender, sexuality, religion, socioeconomic status, etc. Part of why I read such an array of books is because I go to wonderful events at Dragoncon, Decatur Book Festival, and Avid Bookshop in Athens, Georgia, where these books are promoted and encouraged. (When I lived in Atlanta, I went to an amazing place called Little Shop of Stories, where the same things were true). My goal is for these books and events to continue to influence my scholarship, including my dissertation research.
Yet, I will have to continue to ask myself, why am I doing this work? In many ways, I am a very privileged person, so I have to be careful and mindful about how I write about marginalized and non-dominant groups of people, both in my academic writing and my creative writing. People who only know me on a surface level might wonder why I want to do this work. I am a white, cisgendered female from an educated middle/upper middle class family who identifies as heterosexual/straight, thought I believe gender and sexuality to be on a spectrum. Many aspects of both my upbringing and my life experiences have made me aware and interested in issues surrounding diversity. Though I spent my teenage years in Marietta, Georgia, I was born and raised in two suburban small towns near Flint, Michigan. We lived in a townhouse, followed by a smaller house. I went to a private school that we could only afford because my mother taught there, and many of my friends were black, Hindu, or Jewish.
While I am of the dominant race in the United States, there are less apparent aspects of my identity that are non-normative. At various times of my life, I have been diagnosed with ADHD, a visual-spatial learning disability, and anxiety disorder. My sister is married to a Jewish man and covered to Judaism, so I have a Jewish extended family that I very proudly claim. Two of my ancestors, Walter and Jakob Ruffing, survived the Dachau concentration camp during World War II. We're not sure if they were there because they were Jewish, part Gypsy, or political dissidents. At any rate, there's no reason why they had to endure that treatment, and I believe need to educate ourselves on that dark period of history so it dare not repeat itself. Though I was Baptized as an Episcopalian, my religious beliefs have been precarious over the years, in part because my parents wanted my spiritual journey to be my own and not one that was forced on me, as they sometimes felt that religion was pushed on them at the churches in which they were raised. Now, I go back and forth between a UCC church in Atlanta and a Unitarian Universalist Church in Athens. I believe in God and in the value of the Bible, but I do not believe the Bible is the inerrant word of God, and I feel like that makes me non-normative in the Southeast US, where I currently dwell.
Although I do not identify as Queer, many friends near and dear to me do, particularly those I have met in graduate studies courses, and I consider myself to be an ally to the LGBT community. I love my friends for who they are and want my home and my professional places to be safe spaces. I've always been a "late bloomer" and unique in my approach to potential romantic relationships, so I understand that not everyone's path to true love takes the same course. Also, I am a politically liberal feminist with socialist leanings, and many of my political ideals (I am told by my more middle of the road Southern conservative friends) more closely mimic those of Europe than those of the US.
I suppose the most non-normative aspect of who I am is in my past, but is still very much a part of me. I had a severe overbite as a child, to the point where an expander and braces alone could not correct my issues. Therefore, I had to have jaw surgery, which left me temporarily disabled for several months, in terms of my ability to speak and to perform physical activities. And to top it all off, I was quite overweight as a small child and had to buy clothes in the "pretty plus" section. Now, I have a more normative, perhaps even an attractive face. While my weight fluctuates and I am not currently at my ideal weight and am considered overweight on medical charts, I am roughly average sized for an American female adult. Yet the self-consciousness from these aspects of my childhood and the merciless bullying I experienced as a young child from neighborhood kids (but not school kids) because of my embodiment are like shadows that still sit on my shoulders. I often still worry about my weight, although I make an effort to eat right and be active; fortunately, I enjoy being active. My anxiety disorder is in part hereditary, in part a result of the trauma I experienced as a child for having a body that some considered freakish. I've felt compelled to open up to people about my mental health issues only during this past year, not because I want people to feel sorry for me, but because people need to know that bullying hurts, even when the person is an adult who has outgrown her awkwardness and had surgery to fix her freakish face, in part because she had to chew her food right, but in part because society sucks.
Few people have had the experiences I had as a child, as two friends since middle school pointed out when I had lunch with them this past week. But I am sure there are kids out there who have, which is why I am writing a fiction YA book that is loosely based on my own experiences with the jaw surgery and my recovery period, which was both physical and psychological. I feel like someone has to tell that story, and it might as well be me. That's why I love to write articles and blogs about books and comics that give voice to the non-normative, regardless of our reasons for not fitting the norm. I believe books can save lives, and books got me out of a depressive funk I was in during late middle school and early high school. If books did that for me, then I want to find, write about, and write stories that will help other kids. That is, and will continue to be, my life's mission and my calling.
Fic: Why Fanfiction is Taking Over the World by Anne Jamison
